The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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