Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
