Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I think my fart just growled at me.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
not ubering you a puppy
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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