This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
