the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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