You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Randomize
