The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize