i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
