You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
