Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
