The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
