So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
