What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
