Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
