After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
