I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
We talked him into tasing himself.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
