yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
