My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I hate all girls vehemently.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
