her vagine was all disorganized.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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