Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Green mimosas i think yes
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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