ugly people sure do ruin things
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
