I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
