I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
where does the pee come out of this thing
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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