Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
