I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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