Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
