i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
