I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
