u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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