he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
