I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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