Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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