You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
