What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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