i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
