Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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