I wish my penis had an off switch
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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