what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
