she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
