i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
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