so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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