I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I think your dad took our porno
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
