you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
