so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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