Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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