Tell her she can't have a vagina
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
