I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize