she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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