Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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