is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
