i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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