you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
