Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
