I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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