last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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