I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
