The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
